The everyday pain after he's gone

Friday, December 12, 2008


You know the night before you died I asked god to take you to peace and believe it or not he did, he took you from me now look at me, I cant even live the life I want to. I love you and I miss you like crazy you are all I need every thing about you I cant stop thinking about you and thats the truth.... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Tell me why

I know you can't read this I don't even know who I write to I really don't care who see's it I Just can't believe it I often deny it But I will forever feel it I can never stop it Yet I would never try I wish I could explain it Or just understand it I thought you would change it I had no doubt you... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy ThanksGiving

Well today was thanks giving and it seem as if my dad passed away two years ago but only because this is the 2nd thanksgiving I've had with out him, You see if you have read my past blogs you would know my dad past away on Aug 3rd 2005 just 10 days before my 17th birthday, And let it be known my... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

A lot has changed in my life: My dad past away one year and three months ago, He was and still is in my heart my hole life although he had problems kicking bad habits he always seemed to find a way to make me and everyone around him smile. I miss my dad very much and can't wait to go up in heaven... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 3, 2006

Happy birthday daddy

Happy birthday dad, I miss you so much, today I bought two balloons one that says "happy birthday" and the other that said "thinking of you" I also bought two rose's and a card. I tied the balloons to the cross in the grass dad. I read your card to you their dad. I set your roes's by the rock for... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


sometimes i've lied, sometimes I just said things to pretend it really happened because i wanted it to happen but it never did. I am so scared and sad, Dad i love you and thats the truth, I cant even exsplane the love i have for you. Nothing and nobody could replace you, You are my big shinning star... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Father day

Fathers day was so important to me every year. I used to get ready for fathers day like a week before. me and my dad would go fishing, and sometimes hiking, I always got my dad something special for father day like wrote him a nice letter and framed it or bought him some new fishing stuff. I... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 9, 2006


People call it "Lost a loved one" No i didn't lose anyone its not like I cant find him because i know where he is. So why call it losing a loved one? Why do people say "As times goes on your heart will heal"? When the more time that goes by I miss him more. How come when i think about how much love... Sign in to see full entry.

Every time I........

Every time I look outside and see the sun shining and hear the birds chirping, or feel the wind blowing I think of him. Every day I look up and see the clouds move I wonder about him. Every night when the moon shines and the stars twinkle I pray for him. Each night in my dreams i hear his voice,and... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 6, 2006


EVERYBODY HAS A....................... Everybody has a best friend, a person you go to when you are down and they always have the right things to say to make you smile. everyone has that one person they go to for advice, or a person who makes them look at the good instead of the bad, a friend in... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 26, 2006


Dad Dad I know it was your time to go and i am not mad anymore I am now just confused, I miss you dad and i wish i could see you one more time I have so much to say to you like i love you and i will always love you, i will never forget you dad infact i talk about you so much each and everyday, I... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Everyday that goes by.......

After everyday that goes bye when you are not here I can tell you are still their, In my heart and in my thoughts, you will always be that true loss, To me you were my happy dad, To others you were just so sad, You tried your best in life to help others, but never bother to help yourself now you are... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Always in our thoughts, Forever in our hearts

Many days I wonder why Uselessly you had to die Resolving this is hard for me Destructive lives and memories Ever day I think of you Remembering things we used to do Even though you’re here no more Deep love for you I keep in store Changed for life I’ll always be Holding on to memories I often think... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 29, 2006


Memory… I remember every line in your face. An image my mind can not replace How you held me and made me feel. All those times now, don’t’ seem real. I miss you most in the quiet of the night I see your face still in the mornings light I know somewhere you still feel me I wish some way that I could... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

life to me is god!

Life to me is a gift from G od and what you do with it is your choice although you are a property of G ods he also gave you the ability to make your own decisions which he hopes is right, but everybody has their own mind body and soul everyone thinks differently expresses their feeling in other ways... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

As Days Go By

As days go by the sun seems dimmer and clouds seem darker. Every day that I don't see you is like another piece of my heart missing. The trees don't seem as high and birds aren't as happy, Days go by slower and nights seem longer because I miss calling your name and hearing you reply but now their... Sign in to see full entry.

funeral speech

Their comes A time in someones life when you have to say good bye, But to say goodbye to Brian McCann (my dad) Is just asking so much. My dad was the most loving, caring, person that ever walked this earth. He had those big beautiful blue sparkling eyes that would always make your day, he had a... Sign in to see full entry.

Days Go By when I think about.......

Days go by when I think about Death and Life or light and dark even moon and sun but their is no days that goes by that I don't think of you. I have days with pain and days with rain but I have no days with you which makes me hurt. I have thoughts with love and hate but when it comes to you all I... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 16, 2006

The day my life changed forever, The first man I ever loved died, My Father a 44 year old man pastway on a warm August evening. Unfortunately my dad was addicted to Alcohol and hereon, don’t get me wrong my father was the most kindest, nicest, loving person that ever walked on this earth he always... Sign in to see full entry.

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