Tuesday, July 29, 2008
STOP HOGGING THE SOFA!
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Monday, July 28, 2008
BUILT - IN AIR CONDITIONER
Little Boy: "Dad said he was hot, so I just helped him out a bit." (if the pic doesn't show, let me know..this website usually works ok for pics)
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Sunday, July 27, 2008
A "SEXY" HYMN SING??
A minister decided to do something a little different on Sunday morning. He said, "Today I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to mind." The Pastor yells out, "Cross!" Immediately the congregation started...
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Saturday, July 26, 2008
CONFESSION TIME
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I've been with a loose woman." The priest sighs. "Is that you, Tommy O'Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, `tis I." "And who might be the woman you were with?" "I shan't be tellin' you, Father. It would ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out, so you...
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Friday, July 25, 2008
YOU DON'T SCARE ME
A few minutes before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon...
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Thursday, July 24, 2008
DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
"I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," she insisted. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep...
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
CHECK BEFORE SKINNYDIPPING IN UNKNOWN WATERS
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to...
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008
"NOW THAT I"M UP HERE...
Little Boy: "How do I get down?"
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Sunday, July 20, 2008
THIS CAT'S FOR THE BIRDS
Bird: "Your fur is so soft and comfy." Cat: "Remind me to eat you later."
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Saturday, July 19, 2008
MUST BE THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
Female Lion: "I TOLD you I was NOT in the mood!" Male Lion: "All right already, can't blame me for trying."
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