Saturday, December 20, 2008
THE THINGS WE SAY
The things we say make a "picture perfect world": I’ll keep an eye out for you. – Oh really? Which one? I’ll keep my eyes peeled. – Ouch! I’ll give you a hand if you need one. You want applause or an appendage? I flew to Vegas last weekend and lost everything. - Hmm, must have been the wind. I stuck...
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Friday, December 19, 2008
OFF TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE
"Did you remember to turn off the stove?"
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Thursday, December 18, 2008
STILL NO ROOM IN THE INN!
Many years ago, a Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort on Cape Cod, one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies."...
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Sunday, November 16, 2008
HERB'S HAIR TONIC
Too many herbs, maybe??
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Saturday, November 15, 2008
INSULTS FOR THAT PERFECT MOMENT
1) Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date. 2) I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 4) If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas. Henny Youngman 5) Where did you get your haircut, the pet...
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Wednesday, November 12, 2008
GOOD OLD FASHIONED TEAMWORK
"Get back to Vancouver and start over!"
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Tuesday, November 11, 2008
AHH, LIFE..IT ISN'T ALWAYS WHAT IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE...
As someone would say, "Yeah, but...."
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Thursday, November 6, 2008
DANG LAWYERS! (just kidding...:)
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Wednesday, November 5, 2008
LOST AND FOUND
Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. Steve tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (there was no moss), the direction of the sun (it was an overcast...
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Tuesday, November 4, 2008
PLAYING KIDNAPPED?
Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officers club after work. One Friday, Rick, a newly married ensign, insisted he had to leave at 6 p.m. We all tried to talk him into staying, but he'd promised his bride he'd be home by six. I offered to call home for Rick....
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