Mystery Tie

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

MYSTERY TIE

At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband's sports jackets. Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

STARTING FROM SCRATCH

*Dictionary of Project Terms* Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen difficulties-- We got so sick of working on this that we decided to do something else. Major Technological Breakthrough--Back to the drawing board. Developed after years of intensive research--It was discovered... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

NEED SOME GOOD NEWS?

The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. They say the house didn't float very far at all. The "National Enquirer" just loved those pictures of you at work. Jerry Springer wants to surprise you on his show. The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars. The insurance pays... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

SUPER GLUE IS FOREVER

SOME FACTS TO FIGURE 01. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. 02. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 03. A 3-year-olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 04. If you hook... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

LOCKER ROOM KID?

Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?" Knowing that he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

BLOWING IN THE WIND

"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north." "What are the advantages?" inquired the... Sign in to see full entry.

BLOWING IN THE WIND

"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north." "What are the advantages?" inquired the... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

WHAT CHAIR?

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

AUBURN?

Housework Challenged One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 4, 2014

ALL KEYED UP

Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor. One day the elevator was out of service, so they had to walk up to their office. To pass the time, they decided that one would sing a song, one would tell a joke, and the third would tell a sad story - each taking a turn every floor... Sign in to see full entry.

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