Friday, June 26, 2009
She Made It!
As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day. The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted her entire married life to fussing at her poor husband. When the graveside service had no more than terminated, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt. The...
Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
IT'S NOT NICE TO CUT OFF A HUMMER!
Green Car: "Sorry about that. I just go where I'm told." Hummer: "We may be down, but we're not out!"
Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
A RIDE TO CHURCH - "THANK YOU?"
A teenager who had just received her learner's permit offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination. The mother got out of the car and said, "Thank you!" "Anytime," her daughter replied. As the woman slammed the door, she said, "I wasn't...
Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
IS THAT A RECORD??
A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked. "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children." "Is that a record?" she inquired, puzzled in her turn....
Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
MORE FROM MOM'S DICTIONARY
CAR POOL: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest, with the biggest bunch of kids, who have had the most sugar. COOK: 1) Act of preparing food for consumption. 2) Mom's other name. COUCH POTATO: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat...
Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, June 15, 2009
MOM'S DICTIONARY
AIRPLANE: What Mom impersonates to get a one-year-old to eat strained beets. ALIEN: What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself. APPLE: Nutritious lunch-time dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. BABY: 1) Dad, when he gets a...
Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
THE ULTIMATE HYBRID? OR THIEF CONFUSER?
Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
BY THE WAY, WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER??
As a high school football coach, I'm aware that student athletes tend to focus too much on sports. Bob, a fellow coach, was talking about one such player, who called him at home one night. When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn't home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the coach...
Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
HOT AIR SERMONS?
My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two weeks took them out. I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there he saw a sign that read, "For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."
Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, June 8, 2009
JUMBO WAS ALWAYS FOR THE LITTLE GUY
Elephant: "No more bullies are gonna bother you, kid."
Sign in to see full entry.
