Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A WOMAN'S DICTIONARY
Airhead - What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Argument - A discussion that occurs when you`re right, but he just hasn`t realized it yet. Blonde jokes - Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Clothes dryer - An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda - A...
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Monday, July 13, 2009
SPECIALLY DESIGNED TO CLEAR TRAFFIC JAMS
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Sunday, July 12, 2009
AIRING CAMPERS DIRTY LAUNDRY
Deer: "Heh heh, wait til those campers wake up and find their undies missing."
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Thursday, July 9, 2009
THAT NEW MODEL TANK STILL NEEDS SOME WORK
Soldier One: "This should never have happened!" Soldier Two: "Yeah, but it did. I think it still needs some fine tuning."
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Wednesday, July 8, 2009
THAT WAS AWFULLY WATERY SOUP!
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!"
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Saturday, July 4, 2009
I OWE MY LIFE TO CHOCOLATE
A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week. Therefore... In the last 3 1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds,...
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009
THE CYNIC'S DICTIONARY
CONSULTANT: A jobless person who shows executives how to work. DENTURES: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one's grandchildren. FIBER: Edible wood pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life. FUNERAL HOME: A stately manse occupied by transients who...
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Sunday, June 28, 2009
WORDPLAY A - Z
adage: not done by women over 40 algebra: undergarment worn by mermaids biased: having two bottoms cobra: a shared undergarment detergent: to fight off male advances flatulent: a borrowed apartment gross stupidity: 144 politicians hymen: a greeting to male companions internet scams: dot cons...
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Saturday, June 27, 2009
JUST MONKEYING AROUND
Monkey Behind Computer: "This thing makes us look like a bunch of humans!"
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Friday, June 26, 2009
She Made It!
As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day. The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted her entire married life to fussing at her poor husband. When the graveside service had no more than terminated, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt. The...
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