Friday, July 31, 2009
POPEYE IS ALIVE AND WELL!
"If I could only find Olive Oil, I'd show you how much life I still have in me."
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Thursday, July 30, 2009
WHO TOOK THE CAT FOOD OUT OF THE GROCERY BAG?
Cat: When I said, "Bag it!", "I didn't mean me!"
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009
DOG ENJOYS WALK IN THE PARK
and cleans up after himself, too.
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Tuesday, July 28, 2009
WHO PUSHED ME?
Passengers aboard a luxurious cruise ship were having a great time when a beautiful young woman fell overboard. Immediately there was an 80-year-old man in the water who rescued her. The crew pulled them both out of the treacherous waters. The captain was grateful as well as astonished that the...
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Sunday, July 26, 2009
KIDS - AIN'T IT THE TRUTH?
Things to Think About You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young....
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Saturday, July 25, 2009
MAKE MINE A LARYNGITIS SINGLE PLEASE
The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just...
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Thursday, July 23, 2009
A FRENCH DREAM
A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French." The boy ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in...
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Sunday, July 19, 2009
JUST SCARE ME, PLEASE
My friend, an ex-Marine Aviator wanted to show off his new twin-engine plane. I was riding along as he put it through its paces. Suddenly, we were caught in a violent thunderstorm, with lightning crashing all around us. Next, we lost the radio and most of the instruments. As we were being tossed...
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Saturday, July 18, 2009
ASTRONAUT CAUGHT WITH PANTS DOWN
Astronaut: "What can I say? We blasted off a little while before I was ready!"
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009
JUST CALL ME "TACO"
Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a...
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