Wednesday, August 19, 2009
BASHFUL BLADDER? (P.G.)
Woman in Picture: "Hey, big guy, is that all you got to show me?"
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS DADDY
Penguin on the left: "He definitely has your Mother's beak." Penguin on the right: "I can't believe how early he's come out of his shell!"
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Monday, August 17, 2009
SOME PEOPLE WILL DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING TO GET "THEIR" SPOT!
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Sunday, August 16, 2009
THIS SERMON WILL ENDURE FOREVER
After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons. "Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God." The pastor was thrilled. "Nobody...
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Friday, August 14, 2009
THIS IS A REAL POTBOILER
Baby in the pot: "Why do I always have to play the main course?"
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Wednesday, August 12, 2009
THE OUTHOUSE BLUES
Groom: "Honey, there was something too spicy for me in that one salad. Now I've got the "runs.'" Bride: "Well, please hurry up, dearest. I just thought I was passing gas but there's more behind me than meets the eye...so far."
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Monday, August 10, 2009
CAT WOULD LIKE SOME PRIVACY IN THE PRIVY
Cat: "What're you lookin at?! And close the door on your way out, please!"
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Sunday, August 9, 2009
A CYMBALIC GESTURE COMING RIGHT UP
Penguin: "All you did all night was snore, so get ready. It's payback time!"
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Friday, August 7, 2009
DESTRUCTION - OK, MUTILATION - NOT ALLOWED!
The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a cute photo of me at age 15. Years later, when I went to the courthouse to become a citizen, a clerk confiscated my card. "What will you do with it?" my wife asked. "We burn it" was the answer. "Could you please...
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Wednesday, August 5, 2009
WAKE UP CALL
An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel... The clerk mentioned the phone service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour. "No need for that, young man," snapped the old timer. "I always wake up at five A.M. sharp without an alarm clock."...
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