Wednesday, August 25, 2004
AS A PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER I APPRECIATE THE ENDORPHINES
ugh, I mean endorsements... Really, I'm indebted to the highly paid pool of professional critics and psychoanalysts who found me to be witty, humorous, goofy and well-endowed, oops, I mean doing well on the Dow. Yeah, I sure know how to pick em. Well, not always... Last week I picketed in front of...
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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
I COULD BE GETTING HEAD ALL NIGHT LONG IN THE GROTTO BUT NOOOOOOOO
As a professional blogger I'm often put in the position of making tough decisions. Like yesterday. Yesterday I was invited by Hugh Hefner to spend a few days at the mansion. Hughie felt that I needed a bit of R&R (for the layman that's Rice&Ravioli). Sure, that's all good, but as a professional...
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Monday, August 23, 2004
AS A PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER IT IS MY DUTY TO TELL YOU WHICH WAY TO GO
As a professional blogger I often go out of my way to help other bloggers. I feel it's my duty. Today I'm going to do a mass mailing. I'm going to mail to every blogger from here to Nantucket an atlas and a compass. Why you may ask. Because the other day I had invited a bunch of bloggers to come out...
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Saturday, August 21, 2004
LOVE OR SEX -WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Lately, I'd been thinking! Strange, isn't it? Me -think? Just kidding, I'm always thinking. Even when I'm not thinking I think, "Maybe I should start thinking." I am like Rodin's little naked statue - The Steaker. I'm sure you'd seen it before. Lately, I'd been thinking! Oops, I had already said...
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Friday, August 20, 2004
FUCK THE TOP TEN!
As a professional blogger I'm put in the enviable position of analyzing trends. One trend that I'm currently analyzing is blogging for the top ten. Everybody's doing it. You know, there's one thing in this world that I'm strongly opposed to and that's eating liver. No, sorry if I digressed but...
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Thursday, August 19, 2004
AS A PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER - I DON'T LIKE SEX!
You know, I've been around for a while, not as long as some of you but I've been around long enough to know that sex is like a magnet. No matter where you put it, it will draw a crowd. Especially here on the BlogIt Network. If you insert "sex" into your headline, you're automatically guaranteed 69...
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Wednesday, August 18, 2004
I'M GRATEFUL TO YOU BLOGGERS, SO MUCH THAT I WANT TO EXTEND MY . . .
During my tenure as a professional blogger I’d encountered all types of people –the midgets, the stilted ones, the bozos and the clowns. I had met members of the intelligentsia, the erudite and the truly gifted. I’d been very pleased by the diversity of my encounters and now I’m planning to write a...
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Tuesday, August 17, 2004
ON THE ROAD TO BECOMING A PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER
I'd been thinking - how did I become a Professional Blogger? I must admit right here, right now that becoming a Professional Blogger was not my goal in life - no sir, I became one by mistake. I had other aspirations - like becoming an astronaut. Or a concert pianist. Somehow my career path took a...
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Monday, August 16, 2004
PROFESSIONAL BLOGGERS DESERVE LOVE TOO YOU KNOW
As a professional blogger I am afforded privileges I never had before and let me tell you I'm stoked. Now instead of getting a roach infested flop house room when I'm out blog-signing I'm put up at three- star penthouse suites. Now when I'm criss-crossing the country conducting Blogging Seminars I'm...
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BLOGGERS NEED A FACELIFT BUT NOT ME - I'M A PROFESSIONAL
BlogIt has finally gotten the facelift and like a few bloggers here, it really needed it. It's about time this place took the make-over. As a matter of fact, the make-over is so well-done, I think we could now make Michael Jackson proud. And that'll be something, wouldn't it? Maybe he'll finally get...
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