Thursday, December 23, 2004
NEW ALERT LEVEL!!!
Subject: Alert Level AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate." The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of France...
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
ATTENTION WAL-MART SHOPPERS!
Subject: HOLIDAY SHOPPING! 15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART WHILE YOUR WIFE IS TAKING HER SWEET TIME: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on...
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Friday, December 10, 2004
Dating In 1957
It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Jerry Sue. H arold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Jerry Sue's father answers and invites him in. "Jerry Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he says. That's cool....
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Tuesday, December 7, 2004
Get That Quarter Back!!!
Football analysis by a blonde... > > > > > > > > A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first > > > > football game. They had great seats right behind their > > > > team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she > > > > liked the experience. > > > > > > > > "Oh, I really liked it," she...
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Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Here's Your Sign!
>Subject: TRUTH IN ADVERTISING > > >Finally, Truth in Advertising > > > > >Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: > >"Dr. Jones, at your cervix." > > > >In a Podiatrist's office: > >"Time wounds all heels." >************************** > > > > >On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: >Yesterday's Meals on...
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Friday, November 12, 2004
Cruising With The Dems!!!
Just wanted to share with you some news on the upcoming cruise for Democrats. It really sounds like fun will be had by all. We at Carnival Cruise Lines are not forgetting that a lot of entertainers promised to leave the country if George W. Bush were to be re-elected President. With that in mind, we...
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
Cup Of Coffee
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee... A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty...
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Thursday, October 21, 2004
Did You Know...
that every year that there is a presidential election and the Washington Redskins win their last home game before the election, the Republican wins the election. And every time they lose that home game before the election then the Democrat wins the election. This year the Redskins play the Green bay...
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Thursday, October 14, 2004
What A Car Radio!
Subject: Technology A woman bought a new Lexus LS400, and returned the next day, complaining that she couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Watch this!" he said..."Nelson!" The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie!" he...
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Tuesday, October 5, 2004
One Class Act!
During the Vice-presidential debate tonight Vice-President Cheney said he first met John Edwards tonight as they walked across the stage. This showed Edward's absence at many votes and a total absence at his job in washington and North Carolina, which both are true. At the end of the...
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