Saturday, June 30, 2007
Aren't you Moses?
George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm. George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses?" The man ignored George W....
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Friday, June 29, 2007
All named Leroy
A man from the Welfare department was interviewing a lady who had requested assistance and he was reviewing her form. He noted that she stated that she had three sons, but only has one name listed, "Leroy". "Yes", she replied, "All three sons are named Leroy." "Why would you do that?", inquired the...
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Suppose I earned enough...
An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. "Your estate is very complex," said the lawyer, "but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500." Just then, the...
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Thursday, June 28, 2007
Doctor chat
A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting. The British doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks." Then the German doctor bragged, "That's nothing, we can take...
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The poetry contest
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M. The rules of the contest...
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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Leaning to the left
Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman who was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about never knowing where he was or sometimes even who he was. She took him to a nursing home. At the nursing home,...
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Grieving
A man visiting a cemetery heard a second man who was kneeling at a nearby grave crying-out loudly, "Why did you have to die?!!? Why did you have to die?!!?". The first man was so moved by the other man's obvious pain, that he walked over and lightly placed a comforting hand on the distraught man's...
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007
The mother-in-law
A husband and wife walked up to view the body of his mother-in-law at the funeral. As he began to weep, his wife slapped him and said: “Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway!” The husband replied, “I know, I thought I saw her move!!”
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I know the answer, Sir!
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow...
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Monday, June 25, 2007
The baby mole
There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country. The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage." The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes." The baby...
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