Saturday, June 30, 2007
Funny quotes (2)
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again. If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was knocking on the front door, who would you let in first? The dog, because at least he would shut up...
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Friday, June 29, 2007
Funny quotes
I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experience pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have with...
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Thursday, June 28, 2007
Q & A
Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Strange laws
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Funny ads
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
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Monday, June 25, 2007
Bizarre suicide
On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the deceased had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide (he left a...
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Sunday, June 24, 2007
Strange laws
English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation.
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Saturday, June 23, 2007
This happened to some friends
On their last vacation, Jim and Elsa saved some money by staying in a cheap hotel. Just as they were falling asleep, they heard the sounds of mattress springs and a banging headboard from the next room. At first they were amused by the amorous couple. After five minutes it had lost its charm. After...
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Friday, June 22, 2007
There is always a solution
The Roslin lab in Scotland is scheduled for a government budget cut. "But that won't have much effect," says Michael X. Ferraro. "Once you've cloned sheep, it's not that difficult to counterfeit money."
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Thursday, June 21, 2007
Lady golfer
A friend of mine was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. She was unhappy with the women's type she had been using. After browsing for several minutes, she was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help her. Without...
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