Naut's Funnies...

By Nautikos - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A blonde nurse is in a bank making a withdrawal after her night-shift.

She grabs the pen to sign her name, but it (inevitably) doesn't work, so she hunts in her handbag. She pulls out a thermometer saying, "Damn, some asshole's got my pen..." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 21, 2013

My beautiful blonde girlfriend woke me and said...

“Honey, I had this funny dream – I was eating a HUGE marshmallow!” I looked – sure enough, her pillow was missing... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 18, 2013

A blonde was complaining to her friend...

about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her, "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks that's a great idea, and locks herself up for a couple of weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

There were two blondes walking down the street, when they spotted a compact

They rushed over to see who it belonged to so they could return it. The first one opens it and says, "Hey, this person looks familiar." The second one says, "Let me see." She looks and says, "Of course she does, silly! That's me!" Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful...

So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and he said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

A blonde comes home from a day of shopping...

and discovers that her house is so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No, no! How do we get... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car.

The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat. "No!" yells the blonde. Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again. "For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?" The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!" Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

After leaving a store, a blonde walked out and went up to a soda machine...

She put in a dollar and out popped a coke. She searched her bag for more money. She found some and kept feeding the machine. Cokes and Sprite and Mountain Dew cans began rolling down the street. A young man walked up behind her and watched this for a few minutes. Then he asked, "Can I get one now?"... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out...

and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her the paint and other materials she... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Email troubles...

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis... Sign in to see full entry.

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