Friday, June 24, 2005
Kelly flushed her medication down the toilet.
I had to tell the people who were going to care for her this summer and she may not be able to stay there. If she can't stay there then it will be the street. What can you do for someone who despite your best efforts refuses to cooperate. This was a conscious decision on her part.
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Kelly's still psychotic.
With seven medications, and one injection, she is still lost in her thoughts and thinks that she is one of the two witnesses. What will it take for her to be completely well? Will she ever be well again? I don't know, but Brenda is better, so maybe its just a matter of time. I hope so.
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Kelly's out of the hospital.
She's taking seven different medications, which seems outrageous unless you saw Kelly the way she was before. She actually is only taking two more than before, Haldol for her psychosis and cogentin to protect her from Haldol side effects. That she get's through a shot. Her social worker was worried...
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Sunday, June 19, 2005
Now, what about me?
My whole life, I've had to deal with an emotional problem. I was hoping that i had matured out of it. What has really happened is that I'm just older. My feelings are all over the place. Granted life is hard, but when you are emotionally labile, life is much harder. You can't sort through between...
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Thursday, June 16, 2005
Regular hours
are supposed to be goodforyou. I hate them. But when I feel good, its because I've had enough sleep, not too much or too little. When my hours are really irregular, there is something going on that I'm not aware of. My CPAP machine was set too high and so i'd wake up in a panic attack. So I stopped...
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Depression and Energy
I have low energy. I have from childhood suffered from numerous problems. I caught every single illness going around. I had it worse than my brothers for a longer time. I had pnuemonia when I was seven and when I was sixteen. My neck probably has caused me problems my whole life. Consequently, I...
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Monday, June 13, 2005
Self Monitoring
Everyday, I have to ask myself. Am I okay? Otherwise I might find myself depressed. i don't want to go to the pit before I do something. I either get depressed or drink and get depressed. Fortunately my incident in the hospital took the desire for opiates away from me. I never want to feel that way...
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Thursday, June 9, 2005
I'm an expert!
Today a friend called me about a friend of hers who is manic. She wants to help him but doesn't know how. He spends most of his time alone in his room. She really likes him and wants to help him get out of himself. I was happy to tell her about mania, and was also happy to see such a kind friend. I...
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Wednesday, June 8, 2005
Soon the only mental
illness that I have to deal with on a regular basis will be my own. I rarely think of how it affects my life. But it does. Although I have very few regular habits, i function better with more structure. I need deadlines, but there are few deadlines in my life, other than the events I go to on...
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Tuesday, June 7, 2005
Brenda's Turn
Brenda comes home to veg and whine. But now we have a policy that she has to get a bus pass and apply for four jobs before she comes home again. Yesterday she called to complain about the fleas in her apartment. I refused to give her advice. She wouldn't have had this problem if she had followed my...
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