Temporary scars

By Ichi - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Journal

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Influences of friends

[Written yesterday morning] Jude said something to me last night that managed to creep into my dream state. She talked about having a dream that showed her what she was afraid of at the moment. I had a dream that showed me what I'm afraid of too. I dreamt that I was walking through the park and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

At the end of the night, part two

Sunday came, and I was incredibly nervous. As soon as I got up, I started preparing myself. I wanted to look pretty for him, to kinda remind him what he's been missing. We met up at half 4 in the non-smoking bar. When he saw me, he had a big smile on his face and gave me a lovely hug. That made me... Sign in to see full entry.

At the end of the night, part one

A few hours after I wrote last week, I got messages from Michael. Messages that made me paranoid and very upset. Just the way he was saying things made me worry so much. So I kept texting him explaining my feelings, which made him eventually say to stop texting him. I called Jonny afterwards because... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

How have I been?

Well I suppose I've been carrying on regardless. I had a slow and lethargic day at uni yesterday. I don't think anyone noticed anything was wrong. I didn't make it obvious that I had been crying in the toilets. I felt a lot better when I got home from class yesterday because I wrote my feelings... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 9, 2006

The weekend, part three

When the "suited and booted' boys left for the do, Michael asked if we could talk about what to do. This was one of very few occasions that I didn't actually want to talk. I wanted comedy relief, so I made him put on Black Books. We watched two episodes, and then I felt the need to talk. Nothing new... Sign in to see full entry.

The weekend, part two

And yet I remained calm. I took the opportunity to ask him questions that I had been scared to ask before. Like what he felt was wrong with me as a person - did I moan too much, was I too clingy and needy. And you know what? He couldn't think of anything wrong with me. Not only that, but he said he... Sign in to see full entry.

The weekend, part one

How many people have had the traditional weekend from hell, especially when you think everything's going great? I've had a few, but this one was a whopper. A big flatlining whopper. Friday was spent hiding from Draper, having my first study support session of the new academic year, shopping for my... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Homesickness claims my soul

In 2006 so far, I have spent all of 31 days and nights at home. And this is now the 266th night. A very small proportion of time spent in my beloved Northern Ireland. What effect does this have on someone's spirit? Someone's soul? I'll tell you what it's done to me. It has taken almost every ounce... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Worry worry worry

Sometimes people don't realise just how badly worry affects me. I've not been writing much lately so it's not been released in any way. It's just been bottled up inside. And it's taken a few doctor's visits to make me realise that if I don't find ways to vent my worries, I'll get sick. Put it this... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A very odd yet detailed dream

I feel the need to post this before I forget it all. I dreamt that I became "with child", and this is all that happened in that dream. Michael didn't get scared, in fact he was rather excited. Me, I was scared. Especially when I realised that there wasn't that long to go (I must have only realised I... Sign in to see full entry.

Headlines (What is this?)