A Lifetime of Holy Relationship

By Shams-i-Heartsong - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Relationships

Friday, August 26, 2011

Journal Entry 4

I don't think it is possible for me not to surprise Em sometimes...I am imperfect and my stuff comes up. Perhaps, the best I can hope for is she might agree to stretch a little to give me time to reign in my wounded-ness and my ego. But, how... given the extreme pain, almost panic she creates. I have tried giving her space... but my experience is that the walls grow thicker at least for a time. What to do.... how to break the cycle in a healing way? That IS the question and I need and want an... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 6:52 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Journal Entry 3

08/18/11 - Saw Em today and we hugged and kissed and we both (I am hoping here) knew that there is something deeper here than the drama that separates us. I so need to figure out how to breathe through feeling attacked. I need to see that I am creating the feeling and choose to 'see things differently'. Perhaps focusing on the voice tone and noting that it feels like an attack. It may even be an attack, but I so believe the Course in Miracles notion that as soon as I feel like defending myself,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 1:56 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Journal Entry 2

Emma may be thinking 'That I am the direct cause of her pain … ñ I am reminded of the Course in Miracles book the channeled statement: “I am never upset for the reasons I think I am” This strikes me as true in my own experience. I create all my feelings, usually in response to the thoughts which I also create. And my thoughts usually occur as a result of my perceptions of 'how the world is' and 'how I am' and how I believe others are toward me,IE, what I believe to be real. That is often the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 1:10 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Emma may be thinking 'That I am the direct cause of her pain … ñ I am reminded of the Course in Miracles book the channeled statement: “I am never upset for the reasons I think I am” This strikes me as true in my own experience. I create all my feelings, usually in response to the thoughts which I also create. And my thoughts usually occur as a result of my perceptions of 'how the world is' and 'how I am' and how I believe others are toward me,IE, what I believe to be real. That is often the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 1:09 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Relationship Journal - Trouble in Paridise

My Retreat Journal I just got Emma's cryptic email which stated in its entirety: “Sorry Jim Norton, but Emma is so done with this... “ SHOCK!!!! Acceptance … reconsidering, I think she is wrong.......Doing wine thirty with Ahmad and Khabir. Emma is thinking: 'How could he doubt my love after the few days we spent before in loving bliss. Wednesday – August 17 Th 2011 Emma may be thinking ' I cannot be with a man who does not believe me.” This may be a case where my own inner hurting child did me... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 12:19 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Sharing a few of my own negative core-beliefs.

Accepting for the moment, this definition of a negative core belief: Negative core beliefs are those strongly held beliefs about ourselves that influence what we think and how we feel. For example, if you suffer from social anxiety disorder (SAD), you may believe that you must be liked by everyone in order to be a good person. These are some of the negative core beliefs I have been able to identify within myself: I am often an outsider in groups I belong to I am an oddball in groups that I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 10:06 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Negative Core Beliefs

In his book, Conscious Loving, Henry Grayson suggests a sample list of possible negative core beliefs that we may be able to cop to. Here is a partial list: I am not lovable Love will smother me Love is dangerous I do not deserve to be happy Marriage is a trap or bondage Life has to be a struggle Relationships must be a struggle Surrender means I will be controlled I will always be an outsider People will not like me as I am Do any of these fit for you? (I can own a few). (to be continued) Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 7:57 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, August 15, 2011

Core Beliefs and Relationship

We are all operating on unchecked assumptions and hidden programming. We have a bio-computer which is incredible and elegant. It allows us to drive a car, fix a meal, make love, and feel so many things. But, there is a problem. This awesome bio-computer, like all computers can only work according to its programming. Interestingly, our original programming or 'core beliefs' was out of our hands. Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Teacher, and others programmed us from birth and throughout... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 9:06 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Ouch!

When an intimate partner allows hurt to be covered by anger, things can get pretty ugly. I wonder why we avoid experience the pain of hurt in favor of our reactive anger. Perhaps we feel more powerful and in control when anger energy flows. Hurt can often leave us feeling rather helpless and small. The problem is this: anger is so often destructive and hurtful, striking out at those who we perceive as threats. Often, the closer our relationship, the more destructive and harmful is our our anger.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 4:26 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Vows of commitment

Beloved, I am smitten by the integrity of your spirit and life. I believe that together we create a greater blessing for all because of the bond and commitment that we have made with one another. Therefore, I choose to honor you and us with the following intentions: I give you my whole self materially, emotionally and spiritually. I dedicate myself to your well being on all levels. I will love you to the best of my ability and pledge to forgive you all misunderstandings, hurts, and failings. I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong at 8:09 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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