My Leaky Brain

By EmmaCunnan - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Another thing I wish I'd written

Watching the British comedy Shameless a father was addressing his useless, on the dole, son. "I didn't realize you weren't autistic until you called me a c*** in suspiciously fitting circumstances." If only I had the nerve, and creativity, I almost can't stop laughing. Good thing my friend Tivo... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 7:57 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Now that is a lot of P****

This thing has been all over the internet, but seeing that I am getting a new Maine Coon, I am just trying to prepare myself....remember this is a HOUSE cat, that probably weighs 1/3 of what she weighs. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 10:22 PM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

New Klee Yur, new-clear, nyu-kuh-ler

300 days 18 hours and 40 minutes until we get a leader of the free world who can pronounce the word nuclear. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 3:23 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, March 24, 2008

If Martha Stewart lived in Texas

I am glad I didn't bury my head in the laundry tonight as I usually do when it is fresh out of the dryer, as though I had just witnessed God. Apparently, I washed, and dried, a scorpion of considerable size tonight. The discovery caused a two-step slightly in between the 'where's the spider dance',... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 12:17 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Bumper stickers

Please insert insurance payment if you are going to tell me how to drive. Nice Truck, sorry about your penis! Does that car only make your penis FEEL bigger, or does it look bigger too? If you, or your car are AFRAID of the speed limit, try a SIDE ROAD. If you hit me while you are on your cell... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 6:45 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Me, the Cat, and the Cake

I was in the rolling hills of a near miss with a blight of a depression last week, and my best friend in the universe saw it brewing, swept in, and made it all go away. A surprise visit from someone you talk to every day is a hard one to pull off, but she did it. She arrived early Saturday morning,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 10:51 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, March 10, 2008

The Seven NEW Sins

Apparently the new Pope, after last year's driving law change, has decided, after 1500 years, to UPDATE the sins. The new list condemns genetic modification, carrying out experiments on humans, polluting the environment, causing social injustice, causing poverty, becoming obscenely wealthy and... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 11:32 PM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Automobile Autocracy, or Welcome to the Republican Roadway

Rules to live by when you are the ONLY person driving, as you OFTEN think you are: 1) For god sakes, if you are under 5' tall, get a Suburban, or a Navigator. You don't need to see over the steering wheel; there is no one else on the road, and nothing in your way. 2) If YOUR lane is ending, USE ALL... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 3:36 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Phone Usage #447,346

I'm standing in line today at a local pharmacy, waiting, of course. I became tired and sat down thinking that it was going to be the full 30 minutes, as I had been advised. Pacing around me, talking LOUDLY on her cell phone was this angry little woman. You know when someone who has anorexia shrinks... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 1:51 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, March 3, 2008

Medical terminology and the ghetto

Why does it seem like all the new medications are named by someone from the 'hood? For example Activia Boniva Lyrica Plexxicon Phynova Aciphex (sounds like something for anal leakage) Allegra (East L.A.) Attache (pronounced uh-ta' chee) Meridia Merina Avandia (definitely Kentucky) Cardura Cialis... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by EmmaCunnan at 8:07 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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