Wednesday, November 16, 2005
To be 6 again!
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of...
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Wednesday, November 9, 2005
Could this be Heaven or Hell?
The three blind mice made it into heaven one day. They were tremendously impressed, and before long they met St. Peter. Dazzled by his splendor and grace, they fell to their knees. “Arise,” Peter said, “Do not worship me. Now what do you think of our Lord’s fair ethereal kingdom? “Huh?” replied the...
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Sunday, November 6, 2005
Time to Do the Crime
Once-bitten, twice shy: I have often been that kind of guy. People used to tell me of how rowdy and angry I’d become. They said, "Your hostile temper is sure to lose you friends"; they swore I’d lose salvation; I’d never make amends. There was a lot of truth in the things they told me then. My rage...
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Friday, March 19, 2004
YOU GOTTA LAUGH (TO KEEP FROM CRYING)
I am quite content (she said) to sit upon the shelf to gather dust and fade away a shadow of my former self yet it’s strange, this world of writers in whose midst I find myself will ramble on about sex and stuff and leprechauns and elves but when they’ve got the chance to welcome an old chum they’d...
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
WHACK!!!
Back track to the Knick-Knack Door—Slick Sam is as slack as a lackadaisical hack high on smack mugged at the track after winning a stack of bills at the Black Jack table.
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Friday, March 12, 2004
Bert Got an Oozy
Todd... poor dear boy! What were you thinking!?? Mangled poor Moore. You're game it is stinking! I once was a fan, and thought you were just great. But et tu Brute? Your play now breeds hate. The slogan it seems for Can-Knuckle-heads like you. Is "Get in your licks -- pay the devil his due!"
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Monday, December 8, 2003
FILTHY PHRASES
"Shut the Fuck Up!" It came from the back of the class. I turned around abruptly. Intent. You could have heard an unpackaged condom drop! I looked around the classroom. The noise had sounded mechanical, like one of those translators the Korean kids use. Puzzled, I turned back to the student I had...
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