Oldest News (Ask Madame P.O.)

By Mademoiselle - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, July 22, 2005

NEW BLOG!!

As many of you may know, "Ask Madame P.O." ended last week (business decision). Therefore, in lieu of that, I have created a new blog (which will rise from the ashes momentarily). In the interest of full disclosure, here is a list of all the things my new blog will NOT be: Inspirational,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Can "Time Served" Be "Time Well Spent"?

DEAR MADAME: Two years ago, you received a letter from Prisoner No. 744892. Today, you are reading a letter from "Marvin" an upstanding and productive member of society. I am not proud of my past, but I have made positive changes in my life. I have held the same job since I was released from prison... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Substitute Column

DEAR READERS: I had initially planned to post one of my most controversial columns, entitled "Why Should We Care What Black People Think?” However, the inflammatory subject matter (which involved Al Jolson, cross burning and a "Lil' Sambo" doll) might have made a small handful of readers very... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Age of Impotence

DEAR READERS: I'm often asked, "Madame, don't you ever get bored of dealing with the same moronic questions over and over?" The answer is, "Of course!" Which is why I will frequently offer subtlely different solutions to seemingly very similar problems, just to break the monotony. Note the following... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Classic "Quickies"

DEAR MADAME: I have often wanted to write about the following, but hoped that someone else would write and provide the answer first. I am a pre-op transsexual and usually dress in women's clothing, complete with wig and makeup. My question is, which rest room should I use when I go out in public?... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Fun Film Facts

DEAR READERS: As an amateur film historian (i.e. film school dropout), Madame has accumulated a great wealth of movie knowledge over these many years. A tremendous volume of astonishing facts, "inside information", cinematic curiosities, obscure trivia, bizarre deaths and other horrible (though... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 8, 2005

The Golden Years? (or "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye")

DEAR MADAME: My elderly father recently suffered a bad fall in his bathtub, which will require him to spend his remaining years in a care facility. The problem is, my wife is adamant she doesn't want our children to see their grandfather in a nursing home. They ask every week if they can visit him,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 7, 2005

Night Calls

DEAR MADAME: I am a 22-year old female college student who babysits for a family every weekend, and I have a serious problem. For over two months now, while at their home, I've been receiving frightening phone calls late at night. At first, I just laughed them off, thinking it was one of my... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

Why Does God Let Bad Things Happen To Good People?

DEAR MADAME: There's a question that's really been bothering me lately. Why does God let bad things happen to good people? I've always gone out of my way to be friendly and polite to others. I don't curse or drink or dance or chew gum. I've tried to help out in the community. I volunteer at the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Name Calling

DEAR MADAME: I am a 42-year old woman who does clerical work. I ask you this question on behalf of my coworkers and myself. There is this elderly gentleman, "Abe", in our office who really bugs us. As if it wasn't bad enough that he smells like Medamusil (and that his teeth fall out when he laughs),... Sign in to see full entry.

Headlines (What is this?)