Bad Jokes And Sage Advice From The E-Mail Archives

By Dark_Heart - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, December 15, 2007

DUI California Style

Only a person in California could think of this. From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside of a bar in California. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 5:21 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

A Different kind Of Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light, I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight. My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest. Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white, Transforming the yard to a winter delight. The sparkling lights in the tree... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 5:15 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Getting In...

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:48 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Calling In Sick

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 4:01 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, December 10, 2007

Fun Things To Do In A Drive Thru

Fun Things to Do at a Drive-Thru 1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order. 2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for. 3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:27 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Get Backs Are A You Know What

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. and funny so just go with it (Girls -- Have a sense of humor!) One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 10:32 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, December 6, 2007

A Bad Decision

Jim was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!" The next morning Jim got up early and left for work. When his wife woke... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 2:40 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

A New Kind Of Immigrant

Newspapers simply won't publish letters to the editor which they either deem politically incorrect (read below) or which does not agree with the philosophy they're pushing on the public. This woman wrote a great letter to the editor that should have been published; but, with your help it will get... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 1:27 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

What Goes Up....

"What goes up must come down." (20 June 2007, South Carolina) A 21 year-old couple was found naked in the road an hour before sunrise by a passing cabbie. The unconscious, injured pair was taken to the nearest hospital, where they died without regaining consciousness. Authorities were at a loss to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:36 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Elephants Press Back

(2007, India) Increased mining and recent rains in southeast India have unsettled the wildife. In the past few months, migrating elephants have killed eleven people in southeast India. A team of four journalists decided to interview this herd of rogue elephants. And they went into the forest in... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:35 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I have a huge family and get a lot of e-mail jokes. Some of them are too good to delete without sharing them first. And although I can't take the credit for authoring the silly things, they sure made me smile anyway.

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