Bad Jokes And Sage Advice From The E-Mail Archives

By Dark_Heart - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, March 3, 2008

Bush and Clinton

G. W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 4:55 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Two Old Men

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 10:41 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.

Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907. 'In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 1:00 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, February 25, 2008

Bad Day At Work

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 1:02 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

The Panhandlers

Jose and Carlos are pandhandlers..... They panhandle on different areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day. Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend. Carlos... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 8:10 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

The Panhandlers

Jose and Carlos are pandhandlers..... They panhandle on different areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day. Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend. Carlos... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 8:10 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Don't Step On The Ducks

Don't step on the Ducks!! Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 8:08 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, February 21, 2008

God Bless America

Here's a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a Metro station in DC: "There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one. "An elderly woman was... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 8:00 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Have A Little Fun While Shopping

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people‘s carts when they aren‘t looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 7:58 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Poem by Maya Angelou

Christians by Maya Angelou "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her." When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'" I'm whispering "I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven." When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:49 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I have a huge family and get a lot of e-mail jokes. Some of them are too good to delete without sharing them first. And although I can't take the credit for authoring the silly things, they sure made me smile anyway.

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