Wednesday, August 2, 2006
My business now has a more acceptable answering system........
FINALLY!! An answer to the de-Americanizing crap that’s suffocating our country. A short, concise message that makes sense. Every business should be required to install this message on their phones and ATM system. GOOD MORNING, THANK YOU FOR CALLING _____________. Press "1" for English. Press "2" to disconnect until you have learned to speak English
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Retirement Investing???
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg...
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Tuesday, August 1, 2006
Six Year Old Wants To Get Married?
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both...
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Monday, July 31, 2006
Male and Female Procedures for drive-up ATM???
I was in my bank today to transact some business......I noticed a sign in the Bank Lobby: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender." MALE PROCEDURE: 1....
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Corruption and all, this lady bootlegger was amazing......
The Eastern parts of Kentucky represent an amazing mix of sorrow, joy, quirkyness......and some very unusual people.....This was written by a distant cousin, just before Christmas......about the amazing Maggie Bailey of Harlan Country, Ky. When Maggie Bailey used to hear about someone doing an especially despicable deed, she often would say, "Well, I'm glad that I'm just a good old-fashioned bootlegger." Which is another way of you and me saying, "There, but for the grace of God, go I." Indeed,...
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