Thursday, February 21, 2008
Moron Jokes for all your Moron Friends Why do morons like lightning? They think someone is taking their picture. Why did it take the moron an hour to eat breakfast? Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate!! What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and...
Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Redneck Babies In the back woods of Arkansas, a redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. A doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous redneck busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a...
Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Cat Commandments >^''^< Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the puter. >^''^< Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. >^"^< Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll. >^"^< Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors. >^''^<...
Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A. Professional courtesy. Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers. Q. What's the definition of a lawyer? A. A mouth with a life support system. Q....
Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Valentine's Day Lawyer A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity...
Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Angry Blonde A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard...
Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Final Exam It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted...
Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, February 1, 2008
A Blonde at NASA A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all working for NASA, were trying to figure out where to go on the next trip. The brunette said, "We should go to Mars." The redhead said, "We should go to the Moon." The brunette and the redhead sat there arguing for a while. Suddenly, the...
Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
A Blonde's Been Robbed A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!" she cries. The 911 dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An...
Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Some Puns to Enjoy! Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery!!! A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. Practice safe eating — always use condiments. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother. Shotgun wedding — A case of wife or death. I used to work in a blanket...
Sign in to see full entry.
