Friday, April 24, 2009
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is...
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009
DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING: 1.. Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave...
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009
__ Reason's not to mess with the children __
Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher...
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Monday, April 20, 2009
Enjoy Your Day! A young man was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he knew what the 'Roe vs. Wade' decision was. He sat quietly, pondering this very profound question. Finally, after giving it a lot of thought, he sighed and said, "I think this was the decision George Washington made...
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Saturday, April 18, 2009
ALL PUNS INTENDED... Minds are like parachutes — they function only when open. A backward poet writes inverse. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Dijon vu — the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating by always using condiments. Gasoline with carrot juice gives you beta...
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Thursday, April 16, 2009
$$ What Doctor's Really Mean $$
“This should be taken care of right away.” I’d planned a trip to the islands next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. “Welllllll, what have we here…?” I have no idea and I’m hoping you’ll give me a clue. “Let me check your medical history.” I want...
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009
~~ What a Dummy! ~~
What A Dummy These three guys go down to Mexico one night and get drunk and wake up in jail. They found out that they are to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says,...
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Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Double Talk ..
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made...
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Sunday, April 12, 2009
GIFTS OF 'WISDOM'? 1. A day without sunshine is like, well...night. 2. If someone’s always late, perhaps their ancestors arrived on the Juneflower. 3. Would the ocean be deeper without sponges? 4. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. 5. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have...
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Thursday, April 9, 2009
**** Blonde Medical Dictionary ..
Artery………….Study of paintings Bacteria…………Backdoor to cafeteria Barium…………..What to do when treatment fails Bowel…………….Letter like A E I O or U Ceasarean Section….District in Rome Cat Scan………….Searching for Kitty Cauterize…………Make eye contact with her Colic…………….Sheep Dog Coma……………..Punctuation Mark...
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