lil johnny on the loose again
Teacher: “Why are you always late for school?” Lil Johnny: “Because you always ring the bell before I get here!" Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, May 29, 2015
blonde strikes again
A blonde is standing at a vending machine putting money in the slot and collecting can after can after can of Coke. A bloke behind her is getting more and more impatient. 'For Christ's sake, hurry up!' he says. And she replies, 'Can't you see I'm winning?' Sign in to see full entry.
barkeep!
A grasshopper hops into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "HEY! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks at the bartender and says, "You have a drink named Harry?" Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
drinking beer
One day, snake, turtle and centipede are having a party. After two cases of beer are gone, they want more beer. So they discuss who's going to go get the beer. The turtle says, "I will go, you wait here." Two hours later, the turtle hadn't come back yet, so the centipede says, “I will go.” So they... Sign in to see full entry.
blonde strikes again
A blonde suddenly realizes his house is on fire. He immediately dials 9-1-1. The fireman answers, "Yes may I help you?" The blonde replies, "My house is on fire, come quick!!!" The fireman asks, "How do we get there?" The blonde says, "Duh, big red truck!" Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
interviewing
An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" She quickly responded, "The living one. Sign in to see full entry.
The difference is
2:00 a.m. and the street was deserted, so as the man pulls up to the red light he looks around all ways and seeing no one he rolls on through it. He is pulled over and he says to the cop "Really officer? No one is around I slowed down and looked, nobody was coming so I just went. No harm done." The... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
lil johnny on the loose again
Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked Lil Johnny to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.” Sign in to see full entry.
the blonde
The blonde took an IQ test yesterday. It came back negative... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, May 25, 2015
did you hear the one about?
Q: Did you hear about the fire in the bakery? A: It burned 20 cakes and 30 loaves of bread, and there were plenty of hot cross buns!" Sign in to see full entry.