Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, October 4, 2015

parrot

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.... Sign in to see full entry.

frank

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was my cousin, and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

lawyer speak

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin people to git cancer?" "Yes, Bubba, sure is true," responded the lawyer. "And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants fer makin them fat an cloggin their arteries with all them burgers... Sign in to see full entry.

lil boy

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 2, 2015

pet rabbit

One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbour's daughter's rabbit. For years I had watch her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play... Sign in to see full entry.

deer hunting

A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a hugh buck. "Where's Harry?", asked another hunter. "He fainted a couple miles up the trail," Harry's partner answered. "You left him lying there alone and carried the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

cojones

A tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is. "These, senor," replied the waiter in broken English, "are the cojones, how you say, the testicles, of the bull killed in the ring today." The tourist swallowed... Sign in to see full entry.

cows

The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles - or one from Minsk for only 1000 rubles. So, naturally, they got the cow from Minsk. It was a great cow had a wonderful disposition, and gave lots of milk and lots of cream. Everybody loved it... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

retiring zebra

There was a zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on in age so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm. The zebra was so excited, she got to see this huge space with green grass and hills and trees and all these strange... Sign in to see full entry.

talking dog

This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says... Sign in to see full entry.

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