Swimming Upstream, I Maintain Against the Grain

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Thursday, April 9, 2009

At Least There Are Stll Punk Bands to See Once in Awhile!

Ahhhh – sweet distraction & break from life! Last night I got to see The Freeze play and tonight One Way System. “The punks aren’t punk but they wear the right clothes…” Ha! Isn’t that the truth for around here! The shows are at night, so my teens do not mind letting their mother escape for 2 hours.... Sign in to see full entry.

Selfishness & Greed

Remember my mention in “Resist the Urge to Act Like Linda Blair in The Exorcist” of what my mother did during her 5½ month stay after my grandfather died? Well, here’s more on why & how I know what my grandparents’ wishes were. As I mentioned before, I’ve never lived more than ½ a mile away from my... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 3, 2009

You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile

Annie, Original 1982 Motion Picture & Soundtrack, was a source of happiness and inspiration for me as a child. I was 9 years old when it came out. I had a little fantasyland about it. I was Annie; after all I’d never met my father. My home life was the orphanage because I always had to be cleaning... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Resist the Urge to Act Like Linda Blair in The Exorcist

Thank you for all your comments!: D This new life can feel very isolated at times, and I very much appreciate the outreach. The teens & I went to see Monster VS Aliens 3D. It was so good to get away. So: Last week my mother, her 3rd husband, and their two Shih-tzus came down from Seattle and stayed... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Pull Yourself Up By Your Boot Straps

You have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. That is one of those sayings that I’m not sure where I picked it up from, but I sure do say. I choose not to ever see myself as a victim, but rather a survivor. It’s something I tell myself when I am feeling weak. I cannot stand feeling taken... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Useless What-Ifs

I wonder sometimes how I would’ve turned out if everything in my life had been different. What if I knew my biological father? What if I didn’t have a twin brother - what if he was a regular brother? What if my mother had not stayed married to a strict, mean child molester for 12 years? What if my... Sign in to see full entry.

Cheers

It’s spring break this week. Thanks to my teenagers being supportive, this gives me a chance for a break from my care giving routine. I was able to have Chinese for lunch with a couple of friends. I got the feeling that one of them was concerned about me. I drove home reflecting on this. I pondered... Sign in to see full entry.

"Against the Grain"

Three thousand miles of wilderness overcome by the flow, a lonely restitution of pavement, pomp and show. I seek a thousand answers, I find but one or two, I maintain no discomfiture, my path again renewed. Against the grain, that's where I’ll stay. Swimming upstream, I maintain against the grain.... Sign in to see full entry.

About this Blog

A 35-year-old female, who still finds comfort in the lyrics of old punk rock, embarks on a psychological journey of past, present, and future. Singlehandedly raising two teenagers and, after giving up a beloved career, now a caregiver for a grandmother who has moderate stage dementia of the Alzheimer’s type. A tumultuous life has made me who I am. Only time will tell where I am going. My name is India Gabrielle. This is my story.