Saturday, December 31, 2005
Language # 24: More English Language Hoops for Foreign Students
One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem strange that you can make amends, but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If the teacher taught the children, why didn't the preacher praught them? Pls advise soonest.
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Monday, December 26, 2005
Language # 23: Zulu Double Entendre
In an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape at the site since the contractor has thrown in the bulk of their workers."
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Sunday, December 18, 2005
Language # 22: More Hoops For Students of English to Jump Through
I sn't English silly? Writers write, bloggers blog, cutters cut, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham!!!!!
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Monday, December 12, 2005
Language # 21: New Versions of English
Sign outside a Hong Kong Tailor Shop: Ladies May Have A Fit Upstairs Sign in a Rhodes, Greece Tailor Shop: Order Your Spring Suits Now. Because Is Big Rush, We Will Execute Customers In Strict Rotation
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Thursday, December 8, 2005
Language # 20: More exercises in torture for students of English as a
foreign language. Quicksand sometimes works slowly. Boxing rings are square. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why doesn't Buick rhyme with quick???
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Monday, December 5, 2005
Language # 19: New Versions of English
Sign in a Belgrade Yugoslavia hotel elevator (when it was still under Communism): To Move the Cabin, push the button for wishing floor. If the Cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
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Thursday, December 1, 2005
Language # 18: More Reasons English Is So Hard To Learn As A Foreign Langu
age. The bandage was wound around the wound. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
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Monday, November 28, 2005
Language # 17: New Versions of English
Sign in a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Language # 16: Let's Torture Foreign Students of English Some More
Face it -- English is really a crazy language. There's no egg in eggplant -- no ham in hamburger -- neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England -- nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
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Saturday, November 19, 2005
Language # 15: New Versions of English
Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk." How blatant can you get! ARGUS
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
The Versatility of the 'F' Word
The original author of this little list is unknown, but it was reviewed and approved by a fucking linguist. v Dismay: Oh, fuck it. v Aggression: Fuck you! v Command: Go fuck yourself. v Incompetence: He’s a fuck-up. v Laziness: He’s a fuck-off. v Ignorance: He’s a fucking jerk. v Trouble: I guess I’m fucked now. v Confusion: What the fuck? v Philosophical: Who gives a fuck? v Rebellion: Fuck the world. v Annoyance: Don’t fuck with me. v Etiquette: Pass the fucking salt. v Fraud: I got fucked by...
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Friday, November 11, 2005
Language # 14: New Versions of English
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make -- limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger -- roasted duck let loose -- beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
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Tuesday, November 8, 2005
Language # 13: Can Congress Outlaw Torture For Students of English ??
How can a 'slim chance' and a 'fat chance' be the same, while a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' are nearly opposites?? And if I'm 'uncouth', are you 'couth'?? Help abolish linguistic torture!
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Saturday, November 5, 2005
Language # 12: Making Life More Miserable For Students Of English
All English speakers should be committed for linguistic insanity. In what other language do you have noses that run and feet that smell??
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Wednesday, November 2, 2005
Language # 11: Making Life Miserable For Students of English
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?? One goose -- two geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?? ARGUS
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Monday, October 31, 2005
Language 10: New Versions of English
Sign in Tokyo hotel room: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
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Friday, October 28, 2005
Language # 9: New Meanings to English
If a vegetarian is a person that eats vegetables, are humanitarians cannibals?? ARGUS
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Language 8: The Ying And The Yang Of Spanish
While: 'a car' = 'un carro' (in Latin America), and 'Buddhism' = 'budismo' watch out because: 'a compromise' is NOT 'un compromiso' ---that means an obligation or an appointment to do something. 'an argument' is NOT 'un argumento' --- that means a plot of a book or movie. ARGUS
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Friday, October 21, 2005
Language # 7: New Meanings To English
On the bottom of the menu in a fine Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. ARGUS
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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Language # 6: New Meanings To English
Sign in a Vienna Austria hotel: In Case of Fire do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
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